


An Unexpected Change

by aleera21



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:14:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleera21/pseuds/aleera21
Summary: This story takes place shortly after the events on Rimmerworld in series 6.





	1. Something Different

Lister lay on the top bunk with the covers over his head, pretending to be asleep. In fact he was squinting into the darkened room, watching Rimmer move around. Just two days ago they’d finally caught up with him on Rimmerworld. A few hours for them had been six hundred years for Rimmer, and he’d spent most of that time in a prison cell. A number of failed attempts at making a female clone of himself had created nothing but exact replicas. Rimmer after Rimmer after Rimmer. And, in time, they’d overthrown him and locked him up. Thinking of so many Rimmers gave Lister the creeps.

He looked on with concern as Rimmer continued to pace, an unreadable expression on his face. Lister was worried. Rimmer was a smeghead, but he was also a friend—or the nearest he’d ever get to being a friend—and something was definitely up with him. On their return to Starbug, he’d said nothing of his time away, except to explain the obvious things, such as how he’d used the supplies in the escape pod. Once he’d reached the whole cloning thing, he’d clam up, and Lister still had no idea what had made his doubles take over.

***

Rimmer moved around the room, unaware that he was being scrutinized. He wore a pair of his old regulation pyjamas. Since meeting Legion and acquiring a hard light drive, he’d been able to touch again and could now dress himself in his former attire. His mind had been in constant turmoil recently—the last 500 years or so, in fact. That’s why he paced. Movement gave him something to concentrate on. Lying down to sleep, there was nothing to hold off the thoughts... the memories. Luckily, as a hologram, he didn’t really need to sleep. It was just something he’d done to maintain the illusion that he was alive. _Still_ —he glanced at Lister’s bunk— _better dead than smeg._ He immediately cut off this thought and paced more quickly.

He paused in front of the mirror and peered at himself through the darkness. A pale, slightly haggard face greeted him. His metallic H, showing his hologramatic status, glinted on his forehead beneath his short, dark curls. Rimmer reached up and touched the letter, feeling first coolness then a faint heat as his fingers warmed the surface. He glanced at the clock on the nearby shelf. It was almost morning. Time to climb into bed so it would look like he’d slept. After a final glance at his face in the glass, he crept to the lower bunk and eased himself down onto the mattress, pulling up the covers.

***

Lister watched all this in silence, trying to breathe slowly and deeply, to give the illusion of sleep. Something was different alright—different and very wrong. All he had to do now was think of the best way to handle the situation. With this purpose in mind, he closed his eyes and attempted to get a few hours’ shut-eye before dawn.

***

“Thank God you’re here, buddy!” exclaimed the Cat when Lister appeared in the cockpit a few hours later. “A flashing light just appeared on my screen, and it does not go with this outfit. I’ve gotta change!” Without waiting for Lister’s response, the Cat shot from the co-pilot’s seat and out of the room.

“Good morning, Mr Lister, sir,” piped up Kryten cheerfully.

“Hey Kryters. Anything happening?” Lister flopped into his seat and put his feet up on the console.

“Nothing to report, sir. Though the vapour trail readings suggest that we may be gaining slightly on Red Dwarf.”

“Good,” said Lister, and left it at that. He liked to keep as quiet as possible during these discussions. The others generally blamed him for the loss of their main ship, since he was the one who’d parked it. That seemed a little unfair, though, he decided with a mental shrug. After all, all small blue-green planetoids looked the same to him.

“Why don’t you head off, man?” he said, looking around at Kryten. “I’m fine here.”

“But, sir,” Kryten objected, “Mr Rimmer hasn’t arrived to relieve me yet.”

“He’ll be here in a minute,” Lister pressed. “You go.” He mentally willed his friend to leave. He’d decided to confront Rimmer during their shared shift, while he couldn’t run off, and he wanted a few moments alone before Rimmer arrived.

“Very well. If you’re sure, sir. I’ll go and start the ironing, and then perhaps you’d like a curry omelette for breakfast?”

“Yeah, man, that’d be good,” agreed Lister, and at that, Kryten finally exited.

Lister let out an audible sigh once he was alone. He tried to get his head straight, but decided he couldn’t think on an empty stomach. He didn’t want to call Kryten back though. He just needed a little snack. He gently patted his jacket, smiling to himself when he struck gold. Reaching into his inner right pocket, he pulled out a dismal-looking mint. With infinite care, he picked off the worst of the muck and fluff, then popped it into his mouth.

“That is absolutely disgusting!” a voice rang out behind him.

Lister sat up in his seat and looked round. Rimmer had arrived and was regarding him with a look of both revulsion and something else that Lister couldn’t quite make out.


	2. The Truth In Sight

It was not a good start, Lister thought, annoyed with himself, as he watched Rimmer settle at the console behind him. He took Rimmer’s silence as another bad sign. In the past, Rimmer would have followed up such an exclamation with a speech on all the habits of Lister’s that made him want to puke. Now—nothing. Lister swung his chair around a little so he could see Rimmer out of the corner of his eye. He was surprised at the look of sadness and confusion on Rimmer’s face.

Rimmer glanced up, somehow aware that he was being watched, and caught Lister regarding him. He immediately set his features into a blank expression and returned his gaze to the monitor in front of him.

Finally, Lister could stand it no longer. He left his seat and moved to Kryten’s console, next to Rimmer. He tried to make the change in position seem natural, but he was aware of Rimmer’s surprise, and caught his suspicious look. He sat down and casually tried to run a hand through his hair, but he gave up when his fingers caught in the knotted tangle of his dreadlocks.

“So,” he began, in what he hoped was an unassuming, conversational tone. “What’s up, man?”

Rimmer’s nostrils flared. “What?” he asked shortly, after a moment.

“Oh, you know,” continued Lister cautiously. “I just wanted to check you were, like, feeling okay after your....” He paused and sought a suitable word. “You know... your time away.” He was making a mess of this. He sighed and leant forward, looking intently at Rimmer. “I mean, that I’m here if you wanna, you know, talk about anything.”

Unfortunately, at this key moment Kryten decided to return, bearing Lister’s breakfast tray. Rimmer took the opportunity offered to appear completely absorbed with his control panel, flicking the odd switch on and off.

“Here you are, Mr Lister, sir,” Kryten declared happily. “A curry omelette with onion and tomato sauce and a cold curry shake, just as you like it.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Lister said absentmindedly, relieved when Kryten hurried off. He pushed aside the tray with barely a glance at its contents and returned his attention to Rimmer, who was doing his best to ignore him. “Did something happen to you on Rimmerworld?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

As the words passed his lips a deluge of horrible possibilities flooded his mind. All those other male Rimmers desperate, yet unable, to create a female.... What if they’d... done something to him?

***

At the question, Rimmer started, gripped by a sudden terror. Had Lister discovered the truth despite his attempts to hide it? In his panic, he stood, but he saw Lister do the same, ready to stop him if he tried to bolt. A setback of the hard light drive—he could no longer simply walk through his persecutor to escape.

“The other Rimmers,” Lister was saying, “they didn’t.... Well, I mean, nothing... happened. Right?”

It took Rimmer to understand what Lister was asking. When he did, he looked at him aghast. “No,” he spluttered, finding himself trying to explain against his will. “No. I mean, it was hell living with myself like that. Can you imagine it? Having that one copy of me before was bad enough, but this! Although,” he added, “those early years were nothing compared to all that time locked up.”

***

Lister felt sure he would have elaborated, but then the Cat reappeared, cutting their conversation short.

“Hey, I’m looking good!” he declared, catching sight of himself in the nearest console screen. He brushed down his gold lapels and sauntered over to his chair.

Before Lister realised what was happening, Rimmer was past him and out the door.

Smeg! Lister wanted to kick himself. He’d been so close. It was clear that something had indeed affected Rimmer, and it seemed to have been during his imprisonment. He intended to get to the bottom of it. He wanted to help him.

This realisation surprised Lister, but only briefly. It must have been tough on the guy, being alone for all those years. He tried to imagine how it would have been if he’d been trapped alone on Red Dwarf. Holly had thought it through, though, and had given him Rimmer. True, he’d been appalled by Holly’s choice at first, but now he knew that Holly had been right. Rimmer had done what was necessary and had kept him sane. He’d been through a lot with the smeghead, and it was only natural that he should care a little about him in return. It felt natural, at least—to care.


	3. Contemplations

Rimmer scurried to his room, sank onto the bunk, and gripped the covers. So Lister didn’t know after all. He was relieved, in a way, but he was also horrified at the thought that Lister actually thought he might have had sex with himself. Sure, it wasn’t unknown for him to jerk off occasionally—he was only human, or, at least, he had been. That would have been taking masturbation a little too far though. _Besides_ , his mind added, _it isn’t yourself that you want._

_Shut up!_ he screeched silently. How could he have let that thought slip in? He immediately banished it as best he could, sprang up, and started pacing furiously. He watched his feet in a vain attempt to numb his mind. He had to start acting more like his old self again. Maybe that would save him from this. He’d go and yell at Kryten, he decided at last. That would give him something else on which to concentrate.

***

The insults Rimmer was hurling at Kryten were audible from where the Cat and Lister sat in the cockpit.

“Well,” stated the Cat, “it seems old goalpost head is getting back on form. That guy is such a—”

“Leave him alone!”

“If you insist, bud,” replied the Cat, eyeing Lister carefully. “But I still think we should have left him there. We could have sent a note—unavoidable circumstances, sorry to have missed you....”

Lister was aware that the Cat was still talking, but his voice sounded quiet and far away, drowned out by Lister’s thoughts. Rimmer was alerted now, and it wouldn’t be easy to get him on his own again. If only he could read Rimmer’s mind. Then it hit him. 

_Lister, you are a complete gimboid._

“Listen, Cat,” he said, interrupting the Cat mid-sentence. “Are you okay here for a while? I gotta go sort something out!”

“Sure thing,” the Cat replied, “but just let me check first.” He looked down at the ominously flashing red light on his monitor, then at his outfit. “Red, black and gold. No problem!”

Lister strode down the corridor. Starbug was only a small vessel, so it didn’t take him long to reach the engine room. He wandered around for a moment, until he found what he sought. Back on Red Dwarf, on one of the lower decks, was the hologram control centre. He’d gone down there once and hacked into Rimmer’s mind to upload one of his own memories. A series of screens had been there, displaying everything—Rimmer’s memories, his dreams, even his fantasies. All were stored on his hard drive. Here on Starbug, there was no fancy room, but the small black box that controlled Rimmer’s light bee would contain all the information he needed, if he hooked it up to a monitor. He lifted the box and placed it carefully on the console. Then he rooted through the cupboards until he found the right leads.

After a few minutes, a faint image appeared on the screen, and Lister adjusted the cables, bringing it into focus. Rimmer’s school days, he realised quickly, and tapped a few buttons to jump forward to something more recent. He couldn’t face watching Rimmer’s childhood right now. While it probably would account for a lot of the adult Rimmer’s neurosis, he didn’t feel it was completely relevant to his friend’s present situation. He’d said ‘friend’ again. Somehow, that made him feel warm inside.

Shaking his head, Lister returned his attention to the screen. Oh, the psi-moon! They’d had to rescue Rimmer while he was being held prisoner by his own self-loathing. Lister was about to skip on again when he paused. They’d escaped the only way possible; they’d told Rimmer that they loved him. It had worked, but once they were safe, Rimmer had asked if they’d just been making it up, and they’d told him the truth: it had all been a lie. Lister felt guilty about that now. It must have felt terrible for Rimmer to have believed he really was liked, only to learn it had all been pretend. The memory of an oiled torso crept up on Lister unexpectedly. He blinked. What was that about?

To take his mind off these thoughts, he skipped forward till he found what he wanted. Here was Rimmer amongst his clones, and there was an argument of some sort going on. He grabbed and pair of headphones and plugged them in, so he could hear what was being said.

“It should be blue,” his Rimmer was saying forcefully.

“No, red,” suggested one of the clones.

“Yes, red!” piped up another.

“Look, I am the creator here, and I say blue uniforms,” his Rimmer declared, nostrils flaring madly.

The clones exchanged looks, then fell on his Rimmer, dragging him off to the prison cell.

Lister couldn’t believe it. His Rimmer had been locked up for all those years over a dispute about the colour of a smegging uniform? His Rimmer. Where had that come from? He shrugged the question aside and turned his attention to the screen once more. Rimmer was now imprisoned and grinding away at his Chinese Worry Balls. Lister was alert now. It had to be something soon that was the root cause of Rimmer’s current bizarre behaviour. Just then, the screen fizzled.

The cell door opened and Lister, the Cat and Kryten entered. Lister stepped forward and told Rimmer they were here to save him.

They weren’t under guarded escort, though, and Lister ascertained that this was not a memory but some sort of fantasy or dream. He watched on carefully as the same scene played out over and over again. Lister’s concentration drifted a little from the monotony, but then something snapped him back. The door had opened, but this time only the imaginary Lister had entered. Fully focused again, Lister watched as this scene played out a few times. At first he wondered, why him? Why not the Cat or Kryten? In the end, he put it down to the fact that Rimmer considered him the more capable of the three when it came to launching rescue missions.

Yet again, the imaginary Lister swung open the door and stepped inside. He was identical to the real Lister in every way, except his clothes seemed cleaner.

“Come on, Rimmer, man,” the imaginary Lister declaimed. “I’m getting you out of here!”

Imaginary-Lister approached the crouched figure and offered a hand to help him up. The two men embraced. They pulled back a little, and then….

Lister froze in disbelief. Then he slammed the pause button, locking the image in place. “Oh smeg!”


	4. Sex, Lies and Videotape

For several minutes, Lister didn’t move; he just stared. Finally, he snapped out of his stupor, leant forward, and flicked the screen off. That had to be it, Lister thought dully. That had to be the reason for all the odd behaviour. He had expected to feel sick to the stomach after watching it, but instead, and to his alarm, he was experiencing a somewhat different sensation in a slightly lower region. _Smeg._ He was more disgusted at himself than at Rimmer. How could he feel turned on by this? He got up to leave, but changed his mind and moved back to the console.

He grabbed a tape from the shelf and jammed it into the machine, hitting the record button. He wasn’t entirely sure why, and had a feeling that he didn’t want to know. In the end, he told himself that it was so he could analyse things and decided how best to proceed. After all, that might not be it at all; there might be something else later on. That kiss might have been an odd fluke on a day Rimmer when was feeling a bit disorientated. The recording ended, and Lister grabbed the tape and yanked out the leads connecting the machines.

Where to go? He wondered, a tad guiltily, where Rimmer was. Stashing the tape in his pocket, he headed for the sleeping quarters. He checked his watch. Luckily, his shift was over, so he didn’t have to worry about going back to the Cat. The door to the room he and Rimmer shared was open, and Lister peered in cautiously. It was empty.

***

Rimmer had been down in the hold for a while now. It was the only place he could think to go where the others were unlikely to show up. Insulting Kryten had improved his mood slightly for a short while, but even he couldn’t keep that up all day. If only. Those two small words had been with Rimmer all his life and he knew them well. If only he’d had the right snooty parents. If only he’d been sent to the Academy, like his brothers. If only they hadn’t served Gespatcho soup that night at the Captain’s table. If only he hadn’t shared a room with Lister. Lister. His mind always turned back to him. He heard a heartbreaking moan, and it was a moment before he realised the sound had come from him. When had it all started? Certainly it was during his time on Rimmerworld that he’d really come to understand his feelings, but surely it must have commenced before that?

He thought for a few moments, but soon gave up trying to pinpoint it. It had happened, and that was that. All he knew was, he was in deep smeg! On the surface, he was still horrified at the thought that he was attracted to another man. He’d always been strictly butter side up. That nancy stuff was more suited to Ace, his doppelganger. No, not to another man. What horrified him was that it was Lister. Lister, for smeg’s sake—the person he hated most in the universe! Deep down, though, he had to admit that it felt somehow natural. He tried to imagine what Lister’s reaction would be, but decided to save himself the agony. The only thing to do, he decided firmly, was to hope that it was simply a result of his long solitary confinement. With any luck, he might get over it without Lister ever needing to know. The most pressing issue was to convince Lister that he was all right, so that those awkward questions would stop. He had to act as if nothing was different. He’d start now, this minute!

And so, Arnold J. Rimmer set off in search of Dave Lister.

***

Lister had shut the door, and he now sat in a chair with his back to it as he watched the video. There was nothing else new after that last moment he’d seen. It was just the same thing playing over and over again, with slight variations. As he sat there, Lister tried hard to imagine what it would be like kiss Rimmer. He told himself that he’d be repelled, but the ever-more-prominent bulge in his trousers suggested otherwise.

The scene began yet again, and Lister watched from Rimmer’s point of view as the imaginary Lister approached then leant in for the kiss. Without registering what he was doing, Lister unbuttoned his trousers and began to stroke himself. His mind shot back to the psi-moon. He remembered looking down and seeing Rimmer chained to the wall. He now registered things he’d not noticed before: Rimmer’s toned body, the sight of the oil glistening on his skin. He’d had a physical presence there, even without his hard light drive. Lister could have touched him. He could have run his hand over that gleaming, bare chest. Said hand was currently pumping furiously, and he knew that he would come at any moment. _He would have been at my mercy, chained like that._ That image sent him over the edge, and he climaxed as yet another imaginary Lister leant in for a kiss.

Lister grabbed one of his dirty shirts from the floor and wiped his hand, before doing up his trousers. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling—guilt, disgust, lust, confusion, contentment, or just blind smegging panic! He did feel somehow at peace, though, as if things made sense at last. He went to eject the tape, but changed his mind. Once more. He’d watch the scene one last time, and that would give him the chance to gather his thoughts.

The cell door opened, and Lister stood there. A bright light glowed behind him, and in the distance there were blue skies and rolling green hills.

“It’s okay, Arnie,” imaginary Lister said. “I’ve come to save you. You’ll be safe with me now.”

Imaginary-Lister held out his hand to help Rimmer up. There was the embrace.

And then....

A choking sound, coming from behind him, interrupted the kiss, and Lister spun in his chair.

In the doorway stood Rimmer.


	5. Revelations

Rimmer wore a dazed expression as he stared at the screen. At that moment, it looked like the imaginary Lister was trying to ram his tongue down Dream-Rimmer’s throat.

Lister was also staring, but at Rimmer, who didn’t seem to have properly registered his presence yet. Given that fact, the best course of action seemed to be to keep quiet and still, giving himself as much time as possible before whatever scene was coming.  
As the onscreen kiss ended, Rimmer came out of his trance and stared around wildly. His eyes lit upon Lister. He was clearly confused. The look on his face suggested warring emotions. The eyes spoke of blind panic, the flared nostrils suggested anger, and the quivering lower lip was preparing for imminent breakdown.

Lister stood slowly. He felt awkward and guilty, and switched his weight from one foot to the other. He knew he should say something, but he had no idea what, so he decided to yell at himself instead. _Smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg!_ The tension in the room was intense, and Lister realised he had to make a move, or else they’d be standing there all day. He registered that the tape was still playing, and he turned from Rimmer for a moment to hit the stop button. That did it.

“What the smeg do you think you’re doing?” Rimmer screamed as he marched into the room. For now, a mix of anger and hysteria seemed to have won the inner battle.

Lister involuntarily took a step back. He could tell that Rimmer’s emotional response was intense from the fact that Rimmer hadn’t added an insult at the end of the sentence. That, and the way his eyes were so wide they could have been mistaken for flying saucers. He looked pale, too, and Lister found himself slightly worried. Not for himself but for Rimmer. If he kept this up, he’d short-circuit his light bee!

“Look, man, I’m sorry,” Lister said, his arms out in front of him as if to ward off attack. “I made the tape from your hard drive files. I wanted to find out what was up, and I knew you’d never tell me, and, smeg it all, Rimmer, I just wanted to help!”

***

During this speech, the war in Rimmer’s mind had continued to rage, and suddenly denying everything seemed the way to go. He took several deep breaths and tried to force a smile as he let out a nervous laugh. When it echoed around the room, it sounded hollow and cold.

“Haha, gotcha, Listy, you gimboid,” he said, trying to keep his voice level. “A little joke I planned. And you fell for it. Ha!”

“A joke?”

“Yes indeed, matey,” Rimmer continued in a desperately jovial tone. “The look on your face! I haven’t been so amused in years. Not since that time your harness broke and you fell into the cargo bay.”

***

Lister considered the situation carefully. It would be so easy to play along. He could pretend that he believed it was a joke, hurl a few insults, and let Rimmer think he’d won. Part of him wanted to do it, not least to end this conversation. Another part of him spoke up, though, and tried to reason with him. He looked at Rimmer, and the pitiful state he was in. _To hell with it. He wants you, and you want him, and if you don’t do something now, there may never be another chance._ He wanted Rimmer? When had that happened? He didn’t know, and he guessed it didn’t matter. He made his choice.

“Lock!” he called out, looking past Rimmer, towards the door.

Rimmer spun to watch the door slide shut; then he turned back to Lister, seeing his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“I know it’s not a joke,” Lister said calmly. “I know that you’re attracted to me.” Any other time, he would have followed up with a cheeky smile, but the current situation was too serious for that.

“Don’t be a goit, Lister. How could anyone love you, you stinking, festering, gimboid of a slob?”

_Ah,_ thought Lister, hearing Rimmer make a grave mistake. He was unable to repress a smile now. Here was the Rimmer he knew so well, and he could work with insulting banter.

“It’s not use, Rimmer. You give yourself away. I only spoke about attraction, but you just brought in love. So, I may be a complete smegbrain, but you love me all the same!”  
Instantly, he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

***

Panic and hysteria won out at last in Rimmer’s great mental struggle. He might as well be dead, he thought. Well, hologramatically dead. Better dead than smeg. Now that Lister knew, he’d never hear the end of it. His life would be a living hell. He couldn’t stay here. He decided to do what he always did in such situations: run and find something to cower behind. With that, he made a dash for the door.

“Arnold, wait!”

Arnold? Lister never called him Arnold. Rimmer—yes. Smeghead—definitely. Not Arnold. In thinking this, he took his mind off the running, and tripped.

He came down heavily on the metal floor, his hard light drive preventing him from falling through. Hologram or not, the fall still winded him. He turned and started to sit up, only to stop in surprise. Lister was standing there, ready to help him. He’d seen this so many times in his dreams that he almost reached out and took the proffered hand, but he stopped himself in time. This was clearly a joke on Lister’s part, to play with his mind.

***

It hadn’t even occurred to Lister that he was acting out the dream. He’d seen Rimmer fall and gone over to help him, offering his hand quite innocently. When Rimmer continued to sit there, staring at him, Lister changed his plan. Leaning forward, he grasped Rimmer’s arm and pulled him up.

Rimmer stumbled forward a few paces as he rose, and ended up so close to Lister that their bodies were nearly touching. Lister’s left hand still rested on Rimmer’s arm, and when Rimmer gulped and went to step back, he moved his other arm around Rimmer’s back, cutting off his escape.

It was now or never. Seeing Rimmer’s continuing indecision, Lister surmised he would have to make the first move. He hugged Rimmer closer, until their chests pressed together, and then he slowly leant in and planted a kiss on Rimmer’s mouth.


	6. The Beginning

Lister was surprised at how soft and pliant Rimmer’s lips were. He hadn’t expected that. He moved back slightly to gauge what response he was getting. To his surprise, Rimmer looked as if he were about to cry.

“Lister,” Rimmer begged. “I know I probably deserve it for all the times I’ve insulted you and been a complete bastard, but please don’t mock me.”

“Who said I was mocking you, you stupid smeghead?” said Lister playfully, offering a cheeky smile. Now that the first kiss was over, he felt more confident, and he had no intention of letting Rimmer run away.

***

Rimmer couldn’t keep up with what was happening. Suddenly, Lister was kissing him again. He’d imagined it for so long, and now it was real. He was still suspicious, but then Lister shifted position slightly, and he felt the evidence of Lister’s arousal pressing into his leg. This turned him on to such an extent that he couldn’t suppress a moan, and he wrapped his arms around Lister, too, trying to bring their bodies even closer together.

***

Lister took advantage of the moan to push his tongue deep into Rimmer’s mouth, exploring intently. Then, despite Rimmer’s unintelligible protests, he pulled away. He had decided it was time they moved somewhere a little more comfortable, and he led Rimmer to the bed. He coaxed Rimmer onto the lower bunk and climbed on top of him.

***

Rimmer watched in amazed silence as Lister unbuttoned his padded blue shirt. He shivered, but not from the cold, as Lister explored his chest, rubbing gently against his nipples. It was only when Lister began to work the zipper on his trousers that he found his voice again.

“Uh, Listy? Do you know what you’re doing?”

***

Lister grinned at him. “We’ll soon find out, I guess.” He knew that wasn’t exactly what Rimmer had meant, but he just widened his grin, then added thoughtfully, “I’ve not been with a hologram before though.”

Rimmer’s laugh was natural and light, and it gave Lister a pleasurable thrill. He saw Rimmer in a way he never had before: a fun, relaxed Rimmer. He almost didn’t recognise him.

“I thought you were going to say you’d never been with another man before.”

“That too!”

***

Rimmer automatically lifted his hips as Lister pulled off the rest of his clothing. He watched as Lister stripped off his own shirt. He was nervous now. He’d had very little sexual experience, and most of that had been with an inflatable doll. Rimmer couldn’t think straight for much longer, though, as just then Lister moved his fingers gingerly over Rimmer’s aching arousal, and his eyes closed, his head slamming back into the pillow.

***

Lister was unsure at first, but he gradually started to judge what to do from memories of what he’d always liked women to do to him and from the noises Rimmer was making. He wondered how he would have felt if someone had told him a few years—or even a few days—ago that this would be happening. He decided not to worry about that, and simply enjoyed Rimmer’s moan when he took him completely into his mouth.

***

It was too much for Rimmer, and within moments, he let out a cry of ecstasy and collapsed, completely spent. When next he opened his eyes, Lister had finished undressing and was now lying next to him, naked.  
“It this, well, weird?”

Lister considered for a moment. “I thought it would be, but actually, it’s kinda not.” He shrugged, then cast a sly glance at Rimmer, grinning. “You’ll have to do better than that next time, though, Rimsy. You came far too soon. I hadn’t even begun all the things I’d planned to do.”

The thought that there would be a ‘next time’ was enough to spark a vague reaction in the groin area, and, upon thinking of all the other things Lister might do, Rimmer was fully aroused once more. He lunged at Lister, pinning him beneath him and furiously kissing his face, neck and chest as Lister squirmed in mock protest.

There was a playful scuffle, and Lister ended up face down on the bed, with Rimmer on top of him. They both paused. They knew what the natural progression would be, but were afraid of taking it. Finally, Rimmer made a move. He reaching beneath Lister and began to stroke him. He kept his touch gently at first, but soon his grip tightened and he pumped harder. He was pleased at the variety of groans that were coming from beneath him, and without thinking, he pressed Lister his erection against Lister’s arse.

***

The delicious pressure there helped finish Lister off. That, and the realisation that Rimmer had become quite dominant now that he’d found his feet a bit.

“Do it!” he replied to Rimmer’s questioning call on his name.

***

Rimmer pulled his hand free and looked in wonder at the sticky whiteness on his fingers. A nudge from Lister brought him back to reality, though, and he carefully prepared Lister, using the semen as a lubricant. He wondered what it was going to be like, to move inside Lister, and that thought spurred him on. He pushed forward slowly but firmly, mindful of Lister’s reactions.

***

It hurt so much at first that Lister had to bite down to avoid crying out, but there was no way he was going to ask Rimmer to stop. The pain quickly subsided, anyway, replaced by a strange, uncomfortable feeling. Then Rimmer’s final thrust in produced a new sensation—an intensely pleasurable one—and Lister pushed back against him, trying to prolong it.

“Are you okay?” whispered Rimmer in response to Lister’s groan.

“Yeah, but for smeg’s sake, don’t stop moving,” replied Lister huskily.

Rimmer didn’t need to be told twice. He built up a steady rhythm as Lister moved to meet each thrust, until with a soft cry of “Geronimo”, he came.

They collapsed in a pile of sweaty, entangled limbs, and had to take a moment to catch their breaths.

“Listy,” Rimmer began slowly, “I....”

“Let’s just rest now,” suggested Lister with a sigh. “We can talk in the morning... you complete and utter smeghead.”

Rimmer laughed and relaxed back into the mattress. “Okay, you stupid, ugly goit.”

Lister pulled the blanket over them and they settled in each other’s embrace. He found himself wondering what the Cat and Kryten would make of this somewhat unexpected change, but decided to follow his own advice and let it wait till morning. He glanced at Rimmer. It looked like he had already drifted off to sleep. Absentmindedly, Lister reached up and ran his fingers through Rimmer’s soft curls, before tracing them gently across the H on his forehead. With a sigh, he leant back and drifted off. His last though was, _Oh well, it’s been one of those days!_

The End (or The Beginning)


End file.
